Victim or survivor

healing ourselves Jul 29, 2022

Victim versus Survivor

After you’ve survived victimhood, you become a survivor.

That’s why it’s impossible to be both at the same time.

True survivors usually don’t call themselves victims.

Why, you ask?

Because it doesn’t serve us. A huge part of being a survivor is letting go of that which doesn’t serve. Or learning to let go of it.

Here are some more differences:

Victim mentality:

- This is so hard, I can never do it

- I will never be able to do that

- I can’t do this right now because...

- I will do this when...

- I’m miserable but not ready to leave the misery

- Horrible things have happened to me and I’m broken.

- I’ve been through so much... I deserve to be pitied.

- I’m just unlucky

- My life sucks

- Why is everyone mean to me?

- I’ve done so much for others and others just don’t care about me

- No one cares about me

- I do so much for so and so and this is how they thanked me

Survivor Mentality:

- This is hard but it will get easier when I start practicing.

- This feels hard right now but with time it will get easier.

- Right now is not the best time to make big changes but I can start with small changes.

- Even small changes feel scary but I’m not afraid of fear

- I can do hard things even if I fail at first

- Others treated me according to their trauma; I still have to accept responsibility for my own well being

- Others aren’t responsible for my feelings.

- I’ve been through hell and that doesn’t define me.

- I have wounds and I’m not my wounds.

- I AM brave.

- I am awesome.

- I’m a survivor.

See, how that goes?

Where to start?

Say it right now. “I’m a survivor” and after this, never see yourself as a victim again. Victimizing ourselves is more unkind than anything anyone else could have ever done to us. Step one of loving yourself begins right now 💕