Unconditional Love

loving our children Jul 29, 2022

Unconditional love is when our kindness extends to beyond their "good behavior"- when the going gets tough, how we act then is what defines our love, as far as they're concerned.

This is also why a lot of kids will say "you don't love me!" because what they're really saying is, "You don't love me when I'm at my worst."

If we're nice to someone and they treat us well, what's profound in that? A true test of love would be when we struggle to "be nice" and that person continues to love us through that moment instead of rejecting us. They support us, ask us if we need help, acknowledge our struggle and don't leave us to 'deal with it'.

Its not easy

In fact, its the hardest thing we'll ever do.

Mainly because it was never done to us.

When we were little, there was a simple formula (that many continue to live by): child not listening/showing emotions = bad behavior = some kind of consequence/punishment. Even if we had the kindest parents, teachers, aunts, uncles- there was no alternate way to view a struggling child.

So yes, when we have to override every single neural connection in our brain, every single synapse and create new highways in our brain- that is HARD work.

It's the kind of work that makes us feel all sorts of things.

Triggered.

Angry.

Frustrated.

Ashamed.

Sad.

Failure.

But I promise you, you ARE moving forward as long as you continue to forgive yourself. The movement is ever so slow but its there. Look back to a few months ago, isn't the scenery a bit different even if inside, you feel the same? Pretty soon, you will feel differently on the inside too. I promise in shaa'Allah <3