Connecting With Our Kids Over Video Games.Aug 07, 2022
Have you noticed that most of us hate electronics for our kids but can't survive without them ourselves?
This was a sort of revelation to me one day- as obvious as it seems right now to say.
But it feels so so hard when all our older kids wanna talk about is their video games or you tube videos ABOUT video games.
It's their world though, isn't it?
Part of loving someone is loving their world.
I don't usually work with kids but I've had a few older kids as clients and when I ask them what they'd want from their parents, their number one answer is always, "Do the things with me that I like doing... like my video games." And isn't that what we often dislike the most?
In my experience, it doesn't take much. Here are some things you can try:
🌷Watch your child play video games for 5-10 minutes daily. It's not hard and makes them feel seen.
🌷Ask them a question about what you observed. You have no agenda except wanting to connect with your child.
🌷Follow up with them on something they said they're trying to accomplish in the game. "So did you end up finding those gems?"
🌷Offer to make their video playing- don't ask me why kids like this.
🌷Consider letting them teach you how to play.
🌷Keep your opinions about their electronic use to yourself. Work on solutions, yes but no need to constantly deliver lectures. (Look for Win/win problem solving in the Units).
And when you're done listening about their video game, whatever your threshold is, just say so, "I love hearing about your games.. and can we talk about something else now?"
A little goes a long way when we're trying to connect with our kids. They might not act like it but they crave our positive attention just as much as that needy toddler:)
(If you're a parent of a younger child- you can use the same techniques to encourage independent play in children when they're playing with toys etc.)
Disclaimer: Kids ages 2 and less should have no use of electronics at all. Kids aged 6 and less should ideally not be playing proper video games (that require a laptop).