...But How Will They Learn If We Don't Punish Or Teach?Jul 02, 2022
“If I just help them whenever they don’t listen to me, and if I don’t punish them or have consequences when they don’t listen, how will they learn?”
1- Deep breath; they WILL learn.
2- They’ll learn when their brain is more mature, when the neurons in their logical brain (frontal cortex) are more insulated (google ‘myelin’).
3- They’ll learn from you showing them how it’s done. Model model model. Model patience, grace, forgiveness, kindness, empathy... all that good stuff you want them to learn? Yup, model it, WITH THEM.
4- They’ll learn from experiences and mistakes you ALLOW them to make without bombarding them with lectures and ‘morals of the story...’ Kids are smart.. they absolutely know when/if something is wrong.
5- It might take them a while (years, even) to learn some things and that’s ok. We are all works in progress. I’m almost 40 and still learning to grow as a person every single day.
6- Trying to teach your kids to be nearly perfect little humans at all times is asking too much from the both of you. Have faith. Choose love over ‘teaching’, choose trust over fear. Let go. Let in. ?
But what if I REALLY want to teach/lecture about something? Do so by asking thought-provoking questions. Let THEM figure out the answers. Keep it short. Provide examples of situations. Pose hypothetical situations. Don’t expect a ‘perfect response’. Your job is to encourage critical thinking. Again, trust that they will figure it out in the mean time.